If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
