I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you had me at cake vodka
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.