Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.

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  (517): I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house. http://tfl.nu/y6v5
  Replies (9) Good night (968) Bad night (612)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

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  (305): Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did. http://tfl.nu/lrh7
  Replies (10) Good night (749) Bad night (1504)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis

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  (901): Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis http://tfl.nu/d468
  Replies (46) Good night (4758) Bad night (831)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  no.

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  (404): hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer?? (1-404): no. http://tfl.nu/c4dk
  Replies (21) Good night (6487) Bad night (792)
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  (310): View more from California

  I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

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  (310): I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips. http://tfl.nu/o6k6
  Replies (15) Good night (1661) Bad night (2997)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"

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  (604): dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too" http://tfl.nu/x15y
  Replies (5) Good night (4161) Bad night (1042)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.

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  (905): he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family. http://tfl.nu/wcpl
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (5340)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad

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  (214): I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad http://tfl.nu/x185
  Replies (15) Good night (1188) Bad night (4179)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut

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  (239): all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut http://tfl.nu/x9ek
  Replies (14) Good night (3731) Bad night (1036)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

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  (617): he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes. http://tfl.nu/atub
  Replies (9) Good night (587) Bad night (2533)
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  (707): View more from California

  He better not be in your backpack

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  (707): He better not be in your backpack http://tfl.nu/rf3m
  Replies (6) Good night (823) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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  (517): It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair http://tfl.nu/cxxw
  Replies (4) Good night (443) Bad night (784)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.

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  (601): Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career. http://tfl.nu/22e3
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (312)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.

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  (240): I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me. http://tfl.nu/xr2y
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (569)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag

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  (309): My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag http://tfl.nu/a60b
  Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (462)

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