Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.