I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
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Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children