hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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