why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
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please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
my poor anus
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?