Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine

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  (248): i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine http://tfl.nu/gbjn
  Replies (4) Good night (1456) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?

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  (662): New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests? http://tfl.nu/8lkf
  Replies (15) Good night (2650) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.

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  (814): dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out. http://tfl.nu/nbi4
  Replies (12) Good night (8930) Bad night (1651)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing

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  (402): Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing http://tfl.nu/n0bj
  Replies (28) Good night (6219) Bad night (1817)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.

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  (704): he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/oi0t
  Replies (26) Good night (9195) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.

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  (414): he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie. http://tfl.nu/pbor
  Replies (16) Good night (857) Bad night (4652)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.

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  (313): I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex. http://tfl.nu/ugby
  Replies (21) Good night (6146) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.

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  (201): she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said. http://tfl.nu/ngdj
  Replies (9) Good night (671) Bad night (2970)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(

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  (323): they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:( http://tfl.nu/6gfx
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (2744)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"

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  (270): My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50" http://tfl.nu/q36v
  Replies (11) Good night (1889) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

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  (718): She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet http://tfl.nu/l8w6
  Replies (10) Good night (1237) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.

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  (623): Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing. http://tfl.nu/8dgm
  Replies (8) Good night (2000) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got

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  (651): I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got http://tfl.nu/tlim
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Can't it be both?

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  (317): is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak' (1-317): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/ys3h
  Replies (2) Good night (323) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.

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  (269): Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/jcgm
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (135)

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