Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you