So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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