i think i have herpe
just one?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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