i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
