I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
