well most of my day revolves around power hour
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
