This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
