Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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