I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
