i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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