Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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