this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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