so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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