Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
