I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Enjoy the penises
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
