I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
