sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
