At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize