How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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