dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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