She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
