my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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