I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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