I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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