I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
