your thong is hanging out like whoa
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize