Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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