im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize