if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my shit smells like andre
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
