She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Man, jail baloney is awful.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
