Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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