I think I just saw someone hide a body.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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