Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
