i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
