Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
