wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
