flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Congratulations! We have a period
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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