this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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