Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
