there's paper in my vomit.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize