I wish I could teleport
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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