can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
