Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
