look no pants
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
operation have a gay friend backfired
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
