that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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