My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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