so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
