$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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