mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
