Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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