Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
