Do you still have your period?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
