There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize