Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
