I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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