I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think I am morally bankrupt
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize