im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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