She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
