Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
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Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
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Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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