i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
