Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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