This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
